Don’t Sit on the Potty

Okay, I guess the title of this week’s tip is a bit perplexing. So is the whole subject of potty training little tykes who’ve developed “throne aversion syndrome.” Once this sad condition takes hold, the resulting power-struggles can be enough to bring even the strongest adult to their knees.
 
If you’re beginning to fight with your little one over using the potty, stop right away. That’s right! The more you battle, the longer it will take–and the more tears of frustration will be shed by both you and your child.
 
In our book, Love and Logic Magic for Early Childhood, we teach the single most powerful technique for teaching young children anything: 

Model the behavior with great joy and excitement.

Sure, it may feel a bit embarrassing to some folks, but it goes a long way toward teaching the skills you want and replacing anger and frustration with smiles and giggles.
 
Another powerful strategy involves using a little paradoxical or “reverse” psychology. The only thing that would get our youngest to start sitting on the potty was looking at him with a faux-stern look and saying:

“Whatever you do, don’t go into that bathroom and sit on the potty.”

Being just like his father, he couldn’t resist the challenge! Over the years, we’ve met many parents who were desperate enough to give this strange approach a shot. Time after time we hear them say, “It was the strangest thing. As soon as we backed off trying to make her, she began wanting to do it on her own.”
 
Dr. Charles Fay

Good Intentions, Bad Results

Seven-year-old Tommy was getting nonstop coaching as he tried to play third base during his Little League ball game. A torrent of yelled instructions bombarded his ears.
 
“Tommy, move over!
Tommy, move back!
Not that far, Tommy. Move up a little!
Tommy, pay attention! 
Tommy, the play is going to be at third. Be ready to cover the base!
Tommy, keep your glove on and pay attention to the batter!
Tommy, pull up your pants!”
 
Now Tommy was coming to bat. The coaching came from behind the backstop.
 
“Tommy, you can do it!
Keep your elbow up!
Keep your eye on the ball!
Watch the ball until it hits your bat.”
 
Why had the coach moved from the third base side to the backstop just for Tommy? It wasn’t the coach yelling at him. It was his mother. She was sending some powerful and negative messages.
 
Witnessing this, my heart ached for Tommy. What was he hearing the loudest? The instructions or the unstated messages? If this is Mom’s pattern, there is a very good chance that his subconscious mind is hearing two messages that will have a profound effect upon his life in years to come.
 

1.  
“Tommy, you can’t figure things out or think for yourself.”
 Think about the impact this will have on his self-confidence.
 

2. 
“Tommy, you need to listen to a strong voice from the outside telling you what to do.”

 
There will come a day when his mind switches over from “concrete operations” to “formal operations.” This is the time when he will say to himself, “I don’t have to listen to her. I can think for myself.” But by this time he will be so conditioned to listen to a voice from the outside that it will be much easier to listen to the outside voice of his peers.
 
Tommy’s mom, who loves him dearly and wants the best for him, will be wondering why Tommy is so easily led by his peers. She will be saying, “Tommy, you have to think for yourself.” But will he be able to do that?
 
By the way, you can learn a lot more about the power of unstated messages in my audio CD, Shaping Self Concept.
 
Thanks for reading! Our goal is to help as many families as possible. If this is a benefit, forward it to a friend.
 
Jim Fay

Choices Matter

“Give me liberty or give me death!”
 
Patrick Henry’s famous words remind us of the passion with which the human spirit yearns for freedom. On this Fourth of July holiday, let us remember how fortunate we are to live in a nation where we remain largely free to determine the course of our lives.
 
This freedom rests in the balance, more easily lost than most of us can imagine. It will slip through our fingers... perhaps lost forever... if we fail to teach our children that liberty will die if plucked from the sustaining soil of self-control and personal responsibility.
 
It has been said that great civilizations are never murdered, they commit suicide. They implode upon themselves because too few within their borders understand that freedom of choice does not mean freedom from consequences.
 

Choices matter.

 
Love and Logic is much more than a program designed to make kids behave. It’s about our passion for seeing more and more children learn how to govern themselves responsibly... so that they can enjoy true freedom.
 
Our children need to make as many choices as possible... over the smaller issues in life... so that they know how to make the larger choices that will heavily affect their freedom and that of their fellow citizens. Of course, they will only learn if we are willing to allow them the temporary sadness of living with their poor choices. A solidly free nation is one built upon the awareness that choices matter.
 
Dr. Charles Fay

Work Experience Forms

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We wanted to let our students and parents know that the 2018-2019 Work Experience Booklets and Time Sheets are now on the website under the "Documents" section.  (Then click on the Sub-Folder entitled, "Work Experience")

They're ready for you to download for your summer work experience.  

**PLEASE NOTE that in order for credit for summer work to be given, time sheets must be emailed to Mrs. Branch @ Donna.Branch@westwind.ab.ca at the end of each month!

Thinking About Growing Up

15-year-old Jason was feeling independent. He and his friends all agreed that their parents were “clueless” and had no right to be asking them to be slaves around the house this summer. They had already had a stressful time just making it through another year of school. That was enough. Now was the time to chill and hang out.
 
The only problem was that Jason’s friends had parents who were providing plenty of ready cash. In Jason’s eyes, his parents should do the same, but they had taken a Love and Logic course and were expecting him to do his share of the work around the house and were outrageous enough to suggest that he earn some of his own spending money.
 
Being turned down for a “loan” to buy the latest gadget, Jason sarcastically retorted, “Yeah, I know. It’s time I started to grow up, get a job and earn what I want!” With this he stomped off.
 
Dad was so proud of himself. He didn’t even respond. But later, when all had settled down, he did bring it up. “Jason, a while ago you mentioned that it might be time for you to grow up, get a job and start earning what you want. I’ve thought about it and think that you might really be on to something there.”
 
Needless to say, Jason stomped off again. But he left with plenty to think about.
 
This summer, hone your skills with teenagers. Listen to Developing Character in Teens, each day on your way home from work.
 
Thanks for reading! Our goal is to help as many families as possible. If this is a benefit, forward it to a friend.
 
Jim Fay

 

Year end Wrap up

We are wrapping things up at the Community Centre before summer, and noticed that we have quite a few items left in our lost and found.  If you are missing a clothing item, you can come by between the hours of 8am and 3pm and take a look. (Our Elementary lost and found is over at the new school)  Anything that is still remaining on Friday will be taken to Goodwill.

If your child participated in the Flex Friday activity at CASA, their clay project will be in the staff room at the new school tomorrow, Wednesday, for pick up.  

Also, there is a bike that has been sitting here at the Community Centre for a couple of weeks.  If it's yours, please come get it!

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Our supply and fee lists will be on the website before we leave for summer.  Be sure to check out the website during the summer months to see important upcoming dates.  

Have a wonderful summer!

Summer Camp Ideas & Kids Help Phone

Stirling Library Summer Reading Program

(403) 756-3665

help@stirlinglibrary.ca

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YMCA Summer Day Camps for Kids- subsidies available

(403) 327-9622

admin@lethbridgeymca.org

515 Stafford Dr. S. 

Lethbridge, AB 

Multiple dates and activities offered 

https://lethbridgeymca.ca/programs/youth-preschool-programs/summer-day-camps/

                            

University of Lethbridge Kids Day Camps- Prices vary depending on length of camp

Art, Science, and Technology Camps

Online registration: 

http://www.uleth.ca/destination-exploration/summer-camps

 

Lethbridge College Summer Camps

403-320-3288

Online registration: 

https://lethbridgecollege.ca/summercamps/registration

 

Boys and Girls Club of Lethbridge

Summer Camp/Summer childcare programming

1405 8th Ave North, Lethbridge AB

(403) 327-6423

info@bgclethbridge.com

http://bgclethbridge.com/summer-camp.html

 

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Kids Help Phone: 

1-800-668-6868

https://kidshelpphone.ca

Four Lessons Learned from a Wonderful Father

Wisdom has an opportunity to burrow itself deepest into our hearts during tough times. It’s through such fire that true character is developed. It’s also during such spots that our kids are probably watching us the closest. How’s Dad going to react to this one? they wonder.
 
During my lifetime, I’ve had the opportunity to hear many stories of wonderful fatherhood, few of which have to do with dads stringing together lots of wise words. Rather, the majority involved modeling great character messages during times of adversity. Here are four of the most important:
 
My love for you is permanent and impervious.
 
My father was the proud owner of a brand new car. This being the one and only vehicle he’d owned with less than 100,000 miles and paint that shined. He always tucked it safely in the garage upon return from work each evening.
 
One day after school, as if controlled by itself, my bike accelerated into the garage, smashing rather violently into a shelving unit. The shelves teetered, tottered, and eventually spilled their assortment of heavy hand tools onto the hood of that new Chrysler. I was okay. The car was not.
 
While I spent many hours making restitution for this blunder, I never found myself wondering how I stood in my father’s eyes. This has held constant over my lifetime, even when my mistakes were far harder to take than a scratched auto.
 
I love you enough to keep my promises.
 
A loving father would never promise his child an outing for ice cream unless he was absolutely certain he could provide it. Neither would he set a limit without being one hundred percent sure he could enforce it.
 
Are limits promises? When kept, do they show that we love our kids enough to keep them safe and show them how to live peaceful and productive lives? “My dad’s word was always gold,” a young dad shared during one of our trainings. “He didn’t have many rules for us, but the ones he provided he always backed with action.”
 
Mastering my anger, I will show you how to be a strong man.
 
I struggle with this one the most. Even knowing Love and Logic inside out, I sometimes find myself too quickly riled by small things done by my kids, other family members, fellow drivers, and electronic devices. Perhaps the first step in mastering any problem is to admit that you have it. It’s an old idea, but it’s a good one.
 
A mentor of mine, gray haired and wise, shared a nugget of wisdom: “Be a teapot not a pressure cooker.”
 
Teapots admit their feelings and vent some steam. Pressure cookers look fairly calm, then they explode.
 
There are times when it’s really healthy to say to a child, “I’m really angry about this. I’m going to have to do something about it. We’ll talk later. I make better decisions when I’m calm.”
 
Search for humility.
 
When we place ourselves too high, we have a long way to fall. Possibly the greatest challenge facing our society are the messages sent to youth about self versus others. In various ways, too many young people are being convinced that showing off is more important than showing consideration and respect.
 
Humility is a tricky beast. When we think we have it, we are probably falling into the ironic trap of feeling a bit superior about being humble. How deceptive it can be. That’s why the greatest men never consider themselves to have found humility. They just keep searching, and thus showing their children what it truly looks like.
 
On this Father’s Day we honor great dads. We celebrate those brave men who choose each and every day to give these gifts to their children… even though they may not have received them from their own dads. We also remember that none of us are perfect and that focusing too much on our shortcomings usually causes us to repeat them. To all of the dads who are oftentimes too hard on themselves: Remember to show yourself the same kindness and forgiveness that a loving father shows his children.
 
Dr. Charles Fay

Last Week of Regular Classes for Jr/Sr High

This is the last week of regular classes for our Junior and Senior High students.  We want to make sure that you, as parents, are aware of all the important dates.  Also, our students are scheduled to come for mandatory study hall to help them prepare for their final exams.  

Please check the school website calendar for exam dates, and the link to our exam schedule that can be found on the announcement bar on our Homepage.  

in our Community Centre, our Junior and Senior high students have a large calendar with reminders of activities and important exam dates.  

Please let us know if you have any questions our concerns regarding our last 2 weeks of school!

 Calendar in the Community Centre

Calendar in the Community Centre

 

Upcoming Events this week:

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