Getting Too "Full of Himself"

Veronica came to the fourth session of her Parenting the Love and Logic Way® class anxious to get some help with a festering problem with twelve-year old Jake. A recent growth spurt had left him taller than her, and now he believed that she no longer deserved his respect.
 
“I was so embarrassed! I saved money to take him and his little brother to the movies. You should have been there. He wouldn’t take his feet off the back of the seats in front of us, and he kept making loud and nasty remarks during the movie. Strangers were even telling him to settle down! I just didn’t know what to do.”
 
Two members of her Love and Logic class offered to help develop a very special plan for Jake. On their next “movie day,” sixteen-year-old Preston appeared at her door just before they were ready to leave for the theater. He was the extremely large son of one of these class members, and he did a masterful job describing his role to the rather bewildered Jake: “I’m here to watch you while your mom and your brother go to the movies. I heard that you wouldn’t listen to her last time. That’s not cool. How are you planning to pay me? I charge fifteen bucks.”
 
“Hey,” yelled Jake. “I’m not staying with you, and I’m not paying. I’m leaving!”
 
“That’s okay,” Preston calmly replied, “I get paid whether you stay or leave, and your Mom said that she could also give me your allowance over the next month as payment.”
 
Jake freaked! “Hey, that’s way more than fifteen bucks!”
 
Shrugging his shoulders, Preston agreed with empathy, “I know. That’s because when you pay later you have to include interest.”
 
Jake had no idea that this plan had been hatched at Mom’s parenting class. As a result of this little intervention, do you think he’ll be at least a bit more mannerly in the movies?
 
Listen to the audio, Hormones & Wheels for more ideas on how to stay on top of the ever-changing behaviors of teens… and tweens.
 
Thanks for reading! Our goal is to help as many families as possible. If this is a benefit, forward it to a friend.
 
Jim Fay

Stirling School Celebratory Assmebly

Our students were entertained by the staff members starting the assembly dancing the YMCA. We as adults might not have impressed the students but the students sure impressed us with their talent.  We recognized all students that participated in any athletic, musical, theatre productions etc.  As you can see by the bleacher picture we have a high percentage of our students participate in something over the course of the year.  Well done Stirling School. 

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Are You Talking Too Much?

The other day I caught myself giving a lengthy speech about the importance of kids doing their chores and respecting their parents. Unfortunately, the speech was not to a group of people at a Love and Logic event. It was to my son in response to his eye-rolling and huffing about having to clean up after the dog.
 
I used to be a parenting expert. That is… until I had kids.
 
Parenting is tough because we love our children. Since highly effective teachers also love their students, they struggle with the same temptations. We want the best for them. We worry that they’ll become irresponsible. We sometimes feel panicked because they don’t seem to be turning out the way we hoped. As educators we mourn when we aren’t reaching a child in the way we hoped.
 
Lots of intense feelings can muddy our minds and leave us forgetting that we can’t talk tykes… or teens… into being respectful, responsible and self-controlled. In fact, the more extensive our vocabularies become, the less effective we become. 

The more words we use when things are going poorly, 

the less effective we become.


Many excellent and loving parents and educators are faltering. Not because they lack skills. No. It’s because they talk too much while they’re using their good skills.
 
Run an experiment: see what happens if you simply use fewer words when things are going poorly. The odds are high that you’ll be glad you did.
 
Learn more effective techniques to use at home or in the classroom in Jim Fay's audio, Love and Logic Solutions.

Dr. Charles Fay
 

Happy Mother’s Day

Most moms have no idea how amazing they are. Maybe it started with Sigmund Freud, who blamed practically all neuroses, and the ills of society, on moms. Maybe it was the TV advertising where moms were portrayed as lacking if their kids’ socks were not pearly white, the house wasn’t perfect, makeup was messy, and the coffee was not “good to the last drop.” Nowadays, there are plenty of “perfect” Facebook mothers, who seem to keep everything perfectly balanced with the grace and beauty of a swan.
 
Our mom, Shirley Fay, was perfect… because she wasn’t. There were plenty of times when the Spam was burned, our clothes didn’t match, and she forgot to use Love and Logic when we were getting on her last nerve. Our mom was perfect because she gave us a great picture of how to live life as an imperfect person in an imperfect world where the best-laid plans don’t always work out.
 
Our mom was perfect because she also showed us what it looks like to make mistakes and to learn from them. We got to see her learn to deal with family conflicts, financial burdens, health issues, mice in the house, a dog who ate the Easter ham, frustration over flat tires and even a wonderfully faithful yet imperfect husband.
 
Moms… I thank you for all that you do! Here are some things that I hope you will take to heart and remember:
   •  Parents who try to be perfect often raise kids who struggle with painful levels of perfectionism. Give your kids a gift by making mistakes and being gentle with yourself over them.

  •  Take care of yourself by letting your kids do most of the housework. This builds their self-esteem and shows that you are someone to be honored rather than taken for granted.

  •  Become very hard of hearing when your kids get demanding or fail to preface their request with a pleasant “please.”

  •  Ignore the perfect moms on social media.

Everyone else (including me):
   •  Let the kids know how fortunate they are to have such a wonderful mom.

  •  Model an attitude of service by helping Mom in front of the kids.

  •  Clean up after yourself.

  •  Do this stuff the other 364 days of the year… not just on Mother’s Day.

Moms, I hope you know how special you are! Memories of my mother always fill me with comfort.
 
Dr. Charles Fay

UFA wants to send you to the ACCA Co-operative Youth Leadership Camp

UFA supports the Alberta Communities and Cooperatives Association (ACCA) as part of our
commitment to advocate for and support our members in the work they do to feed the world.
UFA also supports local youth as the next generation of agricultural leaders. By providing
opportunities for them to attend the ACCA Cooperative Youth Leadership camp, we instill a
foundational understanding of cooperatives and how they contribute to our vibrant agricultural
industry in partnership.

Attending the ACCA Cooperative Youth Leadership camp provides incredible opportunities for
personal development like leadership, teamwork and public speaking. It also offers hands-on,
collaborative learning experiences focused on cooperatives, entrepreneurship and agriculture.
Participants agree that the camp experience helps develop independence and confidence in a
fun environment where lifelong friendships can be cultivated. Learn more at ACCA.coop/youth.
About the ACCA Cooperative Youth Leadership Camp and applying for sponsorship:

You can qualify for sponsorship to go to camp from UFA if you are 11-18 years old, have a
family member that is a member of UFA.

What does the UFA sponsorship cover? We will provide the registration fee of $708.75. An
additional participant fee of $236.25 plus the optional bus service must be covered by the
successful applicant.

Applying for sponsorship is easy! Please fill out the application form and submit your answer
to the question on the following page.

Please print, scan and email your completed application form to Angela.McMullen@ufa.com
by May 21, 2018.

This year’s camp dates are:
o Pre-Teen A (ages 11-12): June 29 - July 5
o Teen A (ages 13-14): July 5-11
o Teen B (ages 13-14): July 17 -23
o Youth A (ages 15-16): July 11 – 17
o Grad (ages 17-18): June 29 – July 5

Tell us why UFA should sponsor you to attend camp! Why is it important to you?

https://www.ufa.com/cooperative/Pages/community-investment/ufa-wants-to-send-you-to-the-acca-co-operative-youth-leadership-camp.aspx

The Best Gift for a Teacher

Centuries ago, I presume, a tradition developed whereby parents felt compelled to provide a tangible expression of their gratitude toward teachers. The original motivations for this tradition are unclear. Some may have been prompted by genuine appreciation; others may have been spurred by guilt and attempts to atone for the unruly classroom conduct of their children; some may have darker motivations where it was hoped a small payoff would “grease the wheels” a bit toward a better grade for their child.
 
While I’m sure that most educators truly appreciate the gesture, I’m not sure how many apples an average person can eat. I wonder how many of those cute little picture frames, paper weights, plaques, and other cute thingies eventually get regifted.
 
Of course, all of us dedicated educators want to be appreciated for our hard work, long hours, and willingness to be exposed to every germ known to humankind. It’s nice to be appreciated for the fact that we choose to love kids even when they behave badly and produce noxious fumes. It’s great to be appreciated for the fact that we take classrooms full of kids with different needs, abilities, behaviors, and troubles and turn them into high-powered learning teams.
 

Great teachers are amazing!

The best gift we can give them involves our own parenting. The most wonderful display of our appreciation is to send them students truly ready to be respectful, responsible, and eager to learn. No doubt this gift also benefits our children, who will rise to the top when equipped with such character attributes.
 
Listed below are just a few things you can do: 

•  Make sure that your kids overhear you saying positive things about their school and their teachers.

•  Ensure that they are doing chores without reminders at home, so that they know how to do assignments without reminders at school.

•  Allow very little time with technology, including video games, texting, surfing the web, watching videos, television, etc. These activities make it more difficult for our children to remain calm and content at school.

•  Have family meals together, where you enjoy each other and talk about all of the things you’ve learned during the day.

 
Thanks for reading, and thanks for raising great kids who have what it takes to benefit from the privilege of schooling!

Dr. Charles Fay