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The Gift of Chores

The topic of family contributions (aka chores) has been a consistent part of the Love and Logic approach for decades.

There are many reasons that we focus on family contributions. They provide an opportunity for kids to learn important life lessons about responsibility, perseverance, humility, and the fact that good feelings come when we serve others. Contributions to the family help kids develop a sense of accomplishment and success, and we believe that they are the foundation for developing a strong sense of responsibility and healthy self-esteem.

Getting started early this school year with modeling these tasks will help your kids throughout the year—and throughout their lives. Here are some steps for modeling family contributions:

  • Make sure that your kids see you doing them and that you are working hard and even struggling to get them done.

  • Make sure that they see you feel a sense of completion and accomplishment as well as how good you feel after they’re are done.

  • Think out loud while you are working. Say things like, “This is hard, but I’ve got to do it, so I’m going to do it right now.” After it’s done, you can say, “It’s done! I feel great now that it’s done.”

It’s very important that your kids realize that you sometimes must work hard at something you don’t necessarily like. Covering up your struggle or saying that chores are fun, when they’re not, creates frustration and resentment within kids when they must struggle with their own chores. Be positive about doing your chores—but be honest about your struggles.

Dr. Charles Fay

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